S t a n d p u n k t e

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Taoism: Shit happens

Hinduism: This shit happened before.

Confucianism: Confucius say „Shit happens.“

Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

Islam: If shit happens, it’s  the will of Allah

Jehova’s Witness: Knock, Knock. „Shit happens.“

Rastafarian: Smoke this shit!

Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Dong

Stoicism: Not giving a Fuck, whenever shit happens!

Atheism: There is no shit.

Atheism (2): Can you believe this shit?

Agnosticism: I don’t know whether shit happens.

Meta rule: Only shit that happens is „shit“.

Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if I work harder.

Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?

Totalitarism: To avoid future shit, we give you shit now.

Environmentalism: You produce shit, so you have to eat it.

Hedonism: There’s nothing like a good shit happening.

Socialism: Sorry, we are out of shit today.

Feminism: That’s not funny!

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Worauf es ankommt

The fundamentalist believes that we believe in nothing. In his worldview, he has his absolute certainties, while we are sunk in sybaritic indulgences. To prove him wrong, we must first know that he is wrong. We must agree on what matters: kissing in public places, bacon sandwiches, disagreement, cutting-edge fashion, literature, generosity, water, a more equitable distribution of the world’s resources, movies, music, freedom of thought, beauty, love. These will be our weapons. Not by making war but by the unafraid way we choose to live shall we defeat them.

Salman Rushdie

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Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in that grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt, Speech at the Hamilton Club, Chicago (10 April 1899)

Weitaus besser ist es, gewaltige Dinge zu wagen und glorreiche Siege zu erringen, selbst wenn man von Fehlschlägen geprüft wird, als zu jenen Kleingeistern zu zählen, die weder große Freude noch großes Leid empfinden, weil sie in jenem grauen Zwielicht leben, das weder Sieg noch Niederlage kennt.